The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
Brown is a "research professor who spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy (qtd. on her website)".
She recalls a lot of anecdotal times in her personal life that tells us how she overcame obstacles that she didn’t expect to happen. Her human side came out first, wanting to revert back to self-sabotaging ways. By talking to her close friends and her husband Steve, she was reminded of her research to use her own tools to work through the rough times.
She interviewed many interesting people, but the ones that stood out are the people who numb themselves and knowingly do it. I relate to this aspect of knowing exactly what I’m doing is wrong by self-medicating yet continue to harbor resentment towards myself for doing it.
She humanizes her research, so it is easy to understand for people that aren’t used to reading scholarly articles. It’s almost like an abstract with anecdotes.
She talks about her struggle with alcoholism and eating until she becomes sick. I think her influence were her peers and her own self; wanting to help people who are struggling. She says (paraphrasing) that because we don’t want to talk about our shame and vulnerability, we are at risk to never open up and create connection.
I believed perfectionism was always chronic and debilitating. I never myself thought I was a perfectionist, but Brown brings up a good point that there are some factors we do struggle with perfectionism, personally for me it's schoolwork.
It was incredibly easy to read and her own anecdotes were vulnerable. It was good to hear that we aren’t alone in it, from poor persons to rich. No matter where on the ladder we are in life.
With close friends, I would be compelled to ask them to talk through their struggles instead of just agreeing and sharing how my personal struggles align with theirs. I would want to help, not in a sense of suggestion, but for meaningful connection.
I harbor a lot of guilt of past actions and how I treated people in past relationships, friendships included. The topic of guilt vs. shame and foreboding joy was of great interest to me.
The idea of self-numbing and becoming addicted to anything to not pause and think about our life is an aspect I think is relevant. For me, it’s only listening to others through podcasts, audiobooks and video essays. There comes a time to truly face yourself and find gratitude in real life, not online.
I think the main message is, in summary, how to let go of paralyzing ways you let affect your life and foster deeper connection with others and yourself.
View all my reviews
Comments
Post a Comment